Demanding slave girl...

My little slave girl has made a demand for a blog - and I am completely at loss as to what I should blog about.

I find I'm having a hard time expressing my feelings towards my slave girl specifically, and about having a slave girl in general.

I've never thought of being in a poly relationship, in fact I would never in a million years pegged myself as one of those people... one of the mfm couples. In fact, I've had a little pity for couples like that, always thinking to myself that its kind of sad that ''that woman'' couldn't hold her man's attention, that it took two woman to keep him satisfied. And yet I find myself now both as one of 'those people' and as 'that woman'. I'm at a loss for how to explain exactly how I feel about it, its exciting, scary, confusing, painful, and wonderful all jumbled up into a big chaotic ball.

I've always been ummm.... ''open'' with my ''affections'' with ''special friends'' but very very protective and possessive of my heart. And possessive not just of my heart, but of my love, and object of my love. B is to date, the only male non family member I have ever said I love you to. And I have a strong possessive/jealous streak where he is concerned. And though I am open with pet names and affection towards my friends, there is a very obvious difference between my feelings for B and my feelings for my friends. And then there is Slave Girl. She is smart, funny, perverted, beautiful, and she has the kind of quirky off center sense of humor that I adore. And some of the feelings that I have for B are making an appearance towards Slave Girl. I want to be with her, around her, messing with her. I NEED for her to be happy, almost to the point where it doesn't matter what it costs me to make it happen. A feeling that only B has ever been the recipient of before. I want to play with her, and tease her, and find out what makes her tick. And it scares me stupid. I'm also struggling with feelings of jealousy, and of old hurts, and trying to mentally justify a poly relationship with mantra that I grew up with, with societies view of a 'correct' relationship, and with my religious beliefs.

Despite all of that crud (see above), I'm filled with a prevailing sense of hope, and the feeling that this may somehow be ''right''. Not right for everyone, or even for anyone else, but right for us. Slave Girl isn't lessening my relationship with B, she adds to it. And as long as I get the attention that my inner attention whore needs, I can keep the jealousy, and the possessiveness under control. (Unfortunately for Slave Girl, it dose nothing for my pervasive need to know EVERYTHING... LOL)

So as for my feelings for slave girls in general, they are obviously inferior weak minded women who obviously need some very *special* help.
As for MY Slave Girl, she is wonderful, amazing, and nearly perfect for us :)