You ever fell like you are losing something....
the more you want it the faster it seems to slip away?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
per slave girl's demand...
I've been thinking a lot lately about communication.
Communication is perhaps the single most important aspect of a strong relationship. Everything from dinner decisions to sexual fantasies to major life changing decisions that will determine the future of a relationship depend on strong communication.
For me, communication is not an issue. I'm one of those people who is not only capable, but prone to sharing my thoughts, opinions, and feelings - on everything from dinner, to sexual fantasies, to major life changing thingies. And I'll be the first to admit that I'm loud - and that even though I have all these fabulous, eloquent, words in my head (even if I cant pronounce all of them 100% correctly, 100% of the time) I often use very blunt phrases to express myself, meaning there is really no doubt what I'm thinking or feeling about on just about anything.
But.....
Not everyone is a loudspeaker of thoughts and feelings like I am. Somebody ***cough cough slave girl cough cough *** who shall remain nameless to protect the quiet - seems to struggle more than I can really fathom with being able to express thoughts and opinions. And I haven't been very understanding about it *smacks hand - bad Mattress*. To be fair, I'm trying, I really am, its just a little like my trigonometry class. In theory I can understand that if you properly plug in your numbers and variables into a formula you should get the correct answer every time. In reality though - it just doesn't click, and I end up banging my head against my desk while my Professor gives me a pity C for trying harder than he has ever seen anyone try (and still not get it). So while I can understand that my nameless quiet mouse may have a block that makes it damn near impossible for her to vocalize opinions or thoughts, it (much like trig) just doesn't click.
So we are at an impasse. If we accept as fact that communication is the most important aspect to a strong relationship, and the unnamed quiet mouse and I are struggling to communicate then unless something changes we are inevitably weakening our relationship day by day, leading to its ultimate failure.
I'm not about to let that happen. I ubber heart my slave gi.... I mean my unnamed quiet mouse. And I want to make our new, unorthadox, and more than just a little odd relationship work. I think that if we can overcome the communication barrier it will help with a lot of our other issues as well, like my jeleousy, and the unknown, unexplained, apperently random sadness from quiet mouse.
What i'm offering is a compromise, one that requires us both to step outside out comfert zones and push a few (for a change non sexual) limits.
I'll be more understanding and lest judgmental of quiet mouses mental block (and instead of getting frustrated and pushing, which only makes it worse, i'll back off and trust that when shes ready she will share those thoughts wondering around in her head) - if she can bring herself to open up to me outside of her wonderful blog. I really, really, and truly want to know what shes thinking about - what she cares about, what shes passionate about, what she does or does not want for dinner. I want her to express to me the same kind of thoughts and opnions that she so eloquently shares in her blog. I dont expect for her to start sharing everything all at once, I know it will take time, and paitence (something I dont have much of) and trust - we can start slowly in the begining.......
What do you want for dinner quiet mouse?
Communication is perhaps the single most important aspect of a strong relationship. Everything from dinner decisions to sexual fantasies to major life changing decisions that will determine the future of a relationship depend on strong communication.
For me, communication is not an issue. I'm one of those people who is not only capable, but prone to sharing my thoughts, opinions, and feelings - on everything from dinner, to sexual fantasies, to major life changing thingies. And I'll be the first to admit that I'm loud - and that even though I have all these fabulous, eloquent, words in my head (even if I cant pronounce all of them 100% correctly, 100% of the time) I often use very blunt phrases to express myself, meaning there is really no doubt what I'm thinking or feeling about on just about anything.
But.....
Not everyone is a loudspeaker of thoughts and feelings like I am. Somebody ***cough cough slave girl cough cough *** who shall remain nameless to protect the quiet - seems to struggle more than I can really fathom with being able to express thoughts and opinions. And I haven't been very understanding about it *smacks hand - bad Mattress*. To be fair, I'm trying, I really am, its just a little like my trigonometry class. In theory I can understand that if you properly plug in your numbers and variables into a formula you should get the correct answer every time. In reality though - it just doesn't click, and I end up banging my head against my desk while my Professor gives me a pity C for trying harder than he has ever seen anyone try (and still not get it). So while I can understand that my nameless quiet mouse may have a block that makes it damn near impossible for her to vocalize opinions or thoughts, it (much like trig) just doesn't click.
So we are at an impasse. If we accept as fact that communication is the most important aspect to a strong relationship, and the unnamed quiet mouse and I are struggling to communicate then unless something changes we are inevitably weakening our relationship day by day, leading to its ultimate failure.
I'm not about to let that happen. I ubber heart my slave gi.... I mean my unnamed quiet mouse. And I want to make our new, unorthadox, and more than just a little odd relationship work. I think that if we can overcome the communication barrier it will help with a lot of our other issues as well, like my jeleousy, and the unknown, unexplained, apperently random sadness from quiet mouse.
What i'm offering is a compromise, one that requires us both to step outside out comfert zones and push a few (for a change non sexual) limits.
I'll be more understanding and lest judgmental of quiet mouses mental block (and instead of getting frustrated and pushing, which only makes it worse, i'll back off and trust that when shes ready she will share those thoughts wondering around in her head) - if she can bring herself to open up to me outside of her wonderful blog. I really, really, and truly want to know what shes thinking about - what she cares about, what shes passionate about, what she does or does not want for dinner. I want her to express to me the same kind of thoughts and opnions that she so eloquently shares in her blog. I dont expect for her to start sharing everything all at once, I know it will take time, and paitence (something I dont have much of) and trust - we can start slowly in the begining.......
What do you want for dinner quiet mouse?
Saturday, March 21, 2009
This is a direct response to Slave-Girl's blog from earlier today.
If you are in any kind of relationship be to professionally, romantically, or just as friends somebody at some point in time is going to get hurt, relationships are filled with conflict as well as harmony. It is impossible to avoid because
It.Will.Happen.
Any relationship worth its salt will have strife, conflict, and some pain. And constantly worrying about causing pain, or about being hurt does nothing but stress yourself and chip away at the relationship eventually destroying it (self fulfilling prophesy anyone?). Conflict makes things, ie relationships, stronger.
Take Iron for example - in the middle ages the vikings would extract Iron from peat moss. The peat would be burned down the extract the iron that was in the moss/dirt. the lump of raw iron was then superheated, and pounded out to remove impurities. The process was repeated as many as 50 times before the iron would be in its purest form. If the iron was not tempered by the repeated heating and pounding it would have shattered under any kind stress, making it useless to the owner, and possibly getting him killed.
Strong relationships are made the same way. By repeatably being thrust into the fire and pounded at. Its not always fun, and its often dirty painful and exhausting. But the end result is a strong, resilient bond that has been tested and strengthened again and again and again.
Do not worry that you may cause pain or discord, instead when it happens do what needs to be done to fix it. Too many people turn and run at the first sign of conflict - in the process destroying the relationship they were worried about hurting in the first place.
**Kisses**
If you are in any kind of relationship be to professionally, romantically, or just as friends somebody at some point in time is going to get hurt, relationships are filled with conflict as well as harmony. It is impossible to avoid because
It.Will.Happen.
Any relationship worth its salt will have strife, conflict, and some pain. And constantly worrying about causing pain, or about being hurt does nothing but stress yourself and chip away at the relationship eventually destroying it (self fulfilling prophesy anyone?). Conflict makes things, ie relationships, stronger.
Take Iron for example - in the middle ages the vikings would extract Iron from peat moss. The peat would be burned down the extract the iron that was in the moss/dirt. the lump of raw iron was then superheated, and pounded out to remove impurities. The process was repeated as many as 50 times before the iron would be in its purest form. If the iron was not tempered by the repeated heating and pounding it would have shattered under any kind stress, making it useless to the owner, and possibly getting him killed.
Strong relationships are made the same way. By repeatably being thrust into the fire and pounded at. Its not always fun, and its often dirty painful and exhausting. But the end result is a strong, resilient bond that has been tested and strengthened again and again and again.
Do not worry that you may cause pain or discord, instead when it happens do what needs to be done to fix it. Too many people turn and run at the first sign of conflict - in the process destroying the relationship they were worried about hurting in the first place.
**Kisses**
Monday, March 16, 2009
Demanding slave girl...
My little slave girl has made a demand for a blog - and I am completely at loss as to what I should blog about.
I find I'm having a hard time expressing my feelings towards my slave girl specifically, and about having a slave girl in general.
I've never thought of being in a poly relationship, in fact I would never in a million years pegged myself as one of those people... one of the mfm couples. In fact, I've had a little pity for couples like that, always thinking to myself that its kind of sad that ''that woman'' couldn't hold her man's attention, that it took two woman to keep him satisfied. And yet I find myself now both as one of 'those people' and as 'that woman'. I'm at a loss for how to explain exactly how I feel about it, its exciting, scary, confusing, painful, and wonderful all jumbled up into a big chaotic ball.
I've always been ummm.... ''open'' with my ''affections'' with ''special friends'' but very very protective and possessive of my heart. And possessive not just of my heart, but of my love, and object of my love. B is to date, the only male non family member I have ever said I love you to. And I have a strong possessive/jealous streak where he is concerned. And though I am open with pet names and affection towards my friends, there is a very obvious difference between my feelings for B and my feelings for my friends. And then there is Slave Girl. She is smart, funny, perverted, beautiful, and she has the kind of quirky off center sense of humor that I adore. And some of the feelings that I have for B are making an appearance towards Slave Girl. I want to be with her, around her, messing with her. I NEED for her to be happy, almost to the point where it doesn't matter what it costs me to make it happen. A feeling that only B has ever been the recipient of before. I want to play with her, and tease her, and find out what makes her tick. And it scares me stupid. I'm also struggling with feelings of jealousy, and of old hurts, and trying to mentally justify a poly relationship with mantra that I grew up with, with societies view of a 'correct' relationship, and with my religious beliefs.
Despite all of that crud (see above), I'm filled with a prevailing sense of hope, and the feeling that this may somehow be ''right''. Not right for everyone, or even for anyone else, but right for us. Slave Girl isn't lessening my relationship with B, she adds to it. And as long as I get the attention that my inner attention whore needs, I can keep the jealousy, and the possessiveness under control. (Unfortunately for Slave Girl, it dose nothing for my pervasive need to know EVERYTHING... LOL)
So as for my feelings for slave girls in general, they are obviously inferior weak minded women who obviously need some very *special* help.
As for MY Slave Girl, she is wonderful, amazing, and nearly perfect for us :)
I find I'm having a hard time expressing my feelings towards my slave girl specifically, and about having a slave girl in general.
I've never thought of being in a poly relationship, in fact I would never in a million years pegged myself as one of those people... one of the mfm couples. In fact, I've had a little pity for couples like that, always thinking to myself that its kind of sad that ''that woman'' couldn't hold her man's attention, that it took two woman to keep him satisfied. And yet I find myself now both as one of 'those people' and as 'that woman'. I'm at a loss for how to explain exactly how I feel about it, its exciting, scary, confusing, painful, and wonderful all jumbled up into a big chaotic ball.
I've always been ummm.... ''open'' with my ''affections'' with ''special friends'' but very very protective and possessive of my heart. And possessive not just of my heart, but of my love, and object of my love. B is to date, the only male non family member I have ever said I love you to. And I have a strong possessive/jealous streak where he is concerned. And though I am open with pet names and affection towards my friends, there is a very obvious difference between my feelings for B and my feelings for my friends. And then there is Slave Girl. She is smart, funny, perverted, beautiful, and she has the kind of quirky off center sense of humor that I adore. And some of the feelings that I have for B are making an appearance towards Slave Girl. I want to be with her, around her, messing with her. I NEED for her to be happy, almost to the point where it doesn't matter what it costs me to make it happen. A feeling that only B has ever been the recipient of before. I want to play with her, and tease her, and find out what makes her tick. And it scares me stupid. I'm also struggling with feelings of jealousy, and of old hurts, and trying to mentally justify a poly relationship with mantra that I grew up with, with societies view of a 'correct' relationship, and with my religious beliefs.
Despite all of that crud (see above), I'm filled with a prevailing sense of hope, and the feeling that this may somehow be ''right''. Not right for everyone, or even for anyone else, but right for us. Slave Girl isn't lessening my relationship with B, she adds to it. And as long as I get the attention that my inner attention whore needs, I can keep the jealousy, and the possessiveness under control. (Unfortunately for Slave Girl, it dose nothing for my pervasive need to know EVERYTHING... LOL)
So as for my feelings for slave girls in general, they are obviously inferior weak minded women who obviously need some very *special* help.
As for MY Slave Girl, she is wonderful, amazing, and nearly perfect for us :)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
So,
I think i'm addicted to my new slave/pet/laundry bitch.
She came up for a visit on Monday night and just kinda stayed. And I was delighted!
Pet is sooo much more than I thought she could ever be. Pretty, smart, snuggly, and can take a beating like nobody's business. But more than that, shes is a slave. I mean hard core to the depts of her soul a slave. And something that I used to find a little creepy, is now a HUGE turn on for me. Not to mention an ego boost and good exercise (takes a LOT of engery to beat a pain slut!).
I love having her at my feet petting on me, or in the kitchen helping with dinner, and there are no words to express how happy I was that she was laundry bitch for a day.
I'm babbling, so i'll stop. But I wanted her to know just how much I like her, and how much it means to me that she thinks i'm worthy of slave ownership.
I think i'm addicted to my new slave/pet/laundry bitch.
She came up for a visit on Monday night and just kinda stayed. And I was delighted!
Pet is sooo much more than I thought she could ever be. Pretty, smart, snuggly, and can take a beating like nobody's business. But more than that, shes is a slave. I mean hard core to the depts of her soul a slave. And something that I used to find a little creepy, is now a HUGE turn on for me. Not to mention an ego boost and good exercise (takes a LOT of engery to beat a pain slut!).
I love having her at my feet petting on me, or in the kitchen helping with dinner, and there are no words to express how happy I was that she was laundry bitch for a day.
I'm babbling, so i'll stop. But I wanted her to know just how much I like her, and how much it means to me that she thinks i'm worthy of slave ownership.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
